Learning and Growing at 42

Yeah, I’m 42 today! I’ve said to my family that while being forty-something isn’t old, I do feel like I’ve aged so much this past year and a half. (I’ve got the gray hair to prove it!) Trials can take a lot out of a person physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually; but they also refine and help make a person better. I know I’ve grown in many areas; “not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.” (Philippians 3:12)

Some things I’ve been learning (in no particular order):

* Proverbs 3:5-6 reads, ”Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” This verse talks about trust. God has reminded me that I am not in control of things. While I may not always understand why God allows difficult things into my life, I can fully trust that He is in control and has a plan. God works all things for my good and His glory. (Romans 8:28) So I am wise to fully submit my will to His if I am to navigate this life well.

*While humility has to do with having a submissive spirit (1 Peter 5:6), it also is the opposite of pride. This is a constant struggle for me; and the Holy Spirit works over-time chiseling away at my arrogance. God has been teaching me that my convictions are personal and don’t need to be shared by others. And while we may choose things for our family that are in line with our values and goals, others may not choose the same things. As long as fellow brothers and sisters in the Lord are not in sin, it’s okay that they don’t share the same thoughts and opinions and make the same choices as I do. I am not to be the Holy Spirit for other people. 1 Peter 3:8 reminds me that I am to “live in harmony with others. . . (to) be humble.”

*We were recipients of the tremendous compassion of others during Dennis’ cancer treatment. It was another lesson in humility for me as I learned to accept help; but it also served to develop a more sympathetic nature in me. In comparison to the incredible support expressed by so many, it was the silence of a few that spoke the loudest. I knew that I had in fact been that person to others in the past, and that I had served others out of “duty” and not so much with a compassionate heart. One of the hallmarks of Christ’s ministry on earth was compassion. Many verses like Matthew 9:36 tell us that Jesus “had compassion on them.” As I desire to be more like Jesus, I will seek out opportunities to express compassion to others who are going through difficult times.

*When I started my first blog in 2008, I chose the name “Patient and Kind” because these were character traits I felt I needed to work on. I have a tendency to speak with a condescending tone when others are not meeting my expectations. Having my kids home with me has served to give me daily lessons in patience and kindness. There are many more opportunities for me to become impatient with them and I sometimes hourly (or minute by minute) have to make the choice to speak with kindness and not annoyance. Dennis’ health challenges have served to be good lessons in patience for all of us as we have had to make sacrifices to accommodate his needs. Demonstrating patience and kindness are two ways we show true love (1 Corinthians 13) and are worth developing.

*I have been on a quest for true joy. I’ve read Ann Voskamp’s book “One Thousand Gifts” and Sally Clarkson’s book “Dancing with my Father”. Both were excellent and served as great reminders that there are things we can be thankful for each and every day in the midst of all kinds of circumstances. So often we think we can only be happy or content if we have what we want whether it be material things or certain experiences. But this is false sense of joy because the things of this world are only temporary; they don’t last. We end up wanting something else that is bigger and better. Paul wrote in Philippians 4:11 that he learned to “be content whatever the circumstances.” We personally have experienced times of plenty and times of need. I think it has been in the times of need that we have experienced greater joy because our eyes were fixed on the Lord and the promised future we have in Him.

*I am passionate about three things: growing in my relationship with the Lord; my husband-nurturing our almost 20-year marriage, caring for his needs, and making our home a retreat for him; and my children - building close relationships with them, teaching, training and discipling them. Because these are my priorities, everything else in my life is done in moderation. If I were to place too much emphasis on other activities, it would cause me to sacrifice the time I need to pursue my true passions. Scripture tells us to store up treasures in heaven (Matthew 6:20) and I feel that pursing my three passions is how I can best do this. When discerning what is really important, I think about meeting the Lord face-to-face and ask myself if He will care about that particular activity. If not, then it doesn’t deserve too much of my time.

A while ago, Casting Crown’s song “And Now My Lifesong Sings” came on my iPod. I think this best sums up my life at this time. I recognize that I once was lost, blind and dead in my sin. But the Lord found me, gave me His vision for how to live and the promise of eternal life with Him. This in itself is more than enough to be joyful about, but the Lord has blessed me beyond what I could have ever asked or imagined. So my response to this is to completely surrender my life to Him. It is my greatest desire that my life sing to and of the Lord, showing others what He has done in my life. The Lord gives me purpose and direction and I will continue to walk with and serve Him all the remaining days of my life.

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