Growing in Grace

April 29, 2011 As I wrote before, Dennis had surgery on Thursday, April 7. The surgery itself went well. Dr. Stamos, our surgeon, said afterward that there was no visible signs of cancer. Dennis did end up with the ostomy as a precaution. He had a rough time after surgery with pain, but by Saturday was able to get up and around. He came home on Tuesday, April 12. Following his homecoming we received a call from Dr. Stamos that the biopsy revealed no cancer. The radiation and chemotherapy had done their job. This was very good news. The several days following surgery he was experiencing enough pain to require the prescription pain medication that had been prescribed. He spent most of his time upstairs, but was able to navigate up and down the stairs to eat meals with us and get drink refills. A home health care nurse has been provided to come twice a week to help Dennis change the ostomy bag. He was disappointed to have had to have the ostomy, but we trusted that it was for the best.

April 22, 2011 “Surprises are a part of God’s plan. They remind us He’s still in charge.” I read this quote the other day from Charles Swindoll. I’m beginning to dislike surprises. I’m an organizer. I like to plan, make lists, and do things in a logical, methodical way. While this skill might look good on a job application and work well for someone who was a teacher or who serves in various ministries or is now a stay-at-home mom, in the journey of life it can be a hindrance. I admit, I don’t always like being flexible. I like to be in control of my environment. Dennis’ cancer diagnosis has taken me far from my comfort zone. There have been so many things that have been far from my ability to control. And with each event, I have been reminded that God is indeed in control. It’s forced me to lay down my burdens at His feet, to trust Him to provide, to hope fully in Him. So when I read in 1 Peter 1:6,7: “In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had

Good Friday . . . The day we remember Christ’s willingness to suffer and die for our sins. I took the kids to noon service planning to serve in child care if needed, but was blessed instead with the opportunity to attend the service. I always cringe when being reminded of the suffering Christ endured. It was humiliating, intense, exhausting, excruciating. And we ask ourselves why? Why did He have to go through so much? The answer to that question is . . . Me. I am the reason He experienced all of that. And while it baffles me that my Savior endured that for me, it also humbles me at the same time. As a parent, I know the love I have for my children would cause me to choose pain for myself over them experiencing it. I have felt physical affects when I’ve seen my children fall and hurt themselves. There is an inner angst, a twisting, a shudder. I experienced it today with my husband. . . A physical response to his pain, withdrawing as he did, cringing, increased heart rate, hardly able

April 14, 2011 It’s been one week since Dennis’ surgery. I was planning to write an update to let everyone know how he was doing. Even better than how well he is doing with his recovery, I have news from the surgeon. Dr. Stamos called early this evening to let us know that the pathology report came back and it revealed NO CANCER! There was nothing found in the lymph nodes; all was completely clean. He said the chemotherapy and radiation had done their job. We are letting out a big sigh of relief. This is what we have been praying for all these months. Dennis has been home for three days now. He spent much of Tuesday sleeping. Yesterday and today he was more rested after having a couple good nights of sleep. He is still in some discomfort, but the pain medication is helping. He is able to eat a fairly regular diet - there are only some restrictions due to his ostomy bag. We have been authorized to have a home healthcare nurse come out for ten visits. She came today for the first tim

I freely admit that I am deeply connected to my husband and kids. When they hurt, I hurt. Seeing my husband in pain has been difficult. I love caring for my family and when there is nothing I can do for them, it is hard for me.  I woke up Saturday morning feeling so heavy of heart and overwhelmed, wondering how Dennis would ever be able to come home in three days. I spoke to my mom a bit – knowing that she understood since she experienced caring for my dad after his heart attack. I was glad to know that I wasn’t alone in feeling these things; my mom had too. After our mini-chat, I headed out to the hospital. I cried and prayed all the way there. By the time I got there and walked over to the hospital from the parking structure, I was feeling a bit more peaceful. I knew I had to trust God to get us through this. I walked into Dennis’ room to find him getting settled in a chair. He had walked up and down the hall right before I got there. I was overcome with emotion again,

April 8, 2011 I called the hospital this morning and was able to talk to Dennis. He had been moved to his room around 10 p.m. last night. He was still experiencing pain, but it was being managed much better. He still wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything yet. He sounded tired, but was able to carry on a full conversation - which was more than he could do last night. I went to see him late morning. It was such a relief. He was still experiencing discomfort and looked really tired, but he was sitting up watching TV. He is hooked up to all kinds of different machines. His lifeline is the epidural. He is allowed to push for medicine every ten minutes and he has needed to. By then he was allowed to sip water and eat some Jell-O. He had a moment of nausea, but it passed. I only stayed for about an hour since he was so sleepy. I spent some time at my parents' house talking with my grandma and then doing schoolwork with the kids. I went back to the hospital around 3

April 7, 2011 Here’s a run down of how our day went. We arrived at the hospital at 5:40 a.m. Dennis was taken back for pre-op at about 6 a.m. I was allowed to go in with him around 6:30 a.m. He was given an epidural and taken to surgery at 7:45 a.m. I was very emotional I must admit. My sister-in-law, Carol joined me around 9 a.m. After about 4 hours, I was paged and they let me know that surgery was still going on, but everything was going well. At 1:45 - 6 hours after they took him in to surgery, I was paged to meet with the surgeon. Dr. Stamos said the surgery went well. They removed the affected area and opened it up. There was scarring from the radiation, but no visible signs of cancer. Biopsies will be done to determine if any microscopic cells remain. The attachment seemed to be good, airtight he said. But he did decide to do the ostomy bag “to be wise”. We both said at about the same time that we knew Dennis would be disappointed. Dennis will have this for 6 weeks. The sur

April 6, 2011 The day before surgery. To think this was what we were so anxious for 6 months ago. How grateful I am that the Lord laid on our hearts to do the treatment first as I know it will make the surgery easier on Dennis. We had a couple changes to our original plans. My grandma turned 88 on Saturday and to celebrate being another year older, she ended up in the emergency room with low blood pressure and high blood sugar. No real cause was discovered. She recently changed blood pressure medicine, so it is felt that that may have been the cause. She is doing better - stronger and more steady on her feet. She will begin taking her previous blood pressure medication tomorrow. Because of this, she has been staying at my parent’s house. So to make it easier on my mom, we decided that it might be better for the kids to spend the night there tonight instead of having my mom come here. Our kids have never spent the night away from home without us. They have never expressed an inter