Thoughts From the Heart
April 6, 2011
The day before surgery. To think this was what we were so anxious for 6 months ago. How grateful I am that the Lord laid on our hearts to do the treatment first as I know it will make the surgery easier on Dennis. We had a couple changes to our original plans.
My grandma turned 88 on Saturday and to celebrate being another year older, she ended up in the emergency room with low blood pressure and high blood sugar. No real cause was discovered. She recently changed blood pressure medicine, so it is felt that that may have been the cause. She is doing better - stronger and more steady on her feet. She will begin taking her previous blood pressure medication tomorrow. Because of this, she has been staying at my parent’s house. So to make it easier on my mom, we decided that it might be better for the kids to spend the night there tonight instead of having my mom come here.
Our kids have never spent the night away from home without us. They have never expressed an interest to do so and when they had the chance last summer, they wanted me to stay with them. But I know the Lord was at work in them because when I mentioned it to them a couple days ago, they were both excited about it. That excitement extended into today. I stayed until bedtime, did devotions and stories with them as well as prayed with them. Josh seemed very comfortable. Ellie seemed a bit uncertain. I admit that I shed some tears on the way home. But I prayed that God would be their comfort tonight and I felt at peace. Then I realized I was in the carpool lane on the 91 freeway ALONE! Oops, habit!
The other change isn’t so significant. We got a reminder call from UCI this afternoon. They let us know that we didn’t need to be at the hospital until 6 a.m. instead of 5 a.m. Another hour of sleep! If we can sleep!
Dennis did okay with his pre-op prep this afternoon/evening. He had to mix a very large bottle of Miralax (510 g) with a gallon of Gatorade and drink a glass every 10 minutes within a three hour period. He’s still feeling the effects even at 10:30 tonight. Hoping he’ll be able to go to bed soon.
My emotions have been bubbling over a bit the past couple days. I am overwhelmed with love for my husband. I have some anxiety about surgery, but at the same time confidence in my God. I have concern for my children and grandma, but also trust that God will be their comforter and her healer. I am full of gratitude for my parents who are always so willing to step in and help when needed and for the people far and wide, known and not known who have been praying for us. I am humbled by the things the Lord has been showing me about myself and deeply desire to reflect a change in my heart attitude in these areas.
I do not know why Dennis has cancer; I have never asked why. Disease is just a part of our world due to the fall of man. Some are touched by it and others are not. I have just believed that this was what God has given us to deal with and that in the end we will be better for it. There is always hope no matter how difficult things get. Hope for healing, for strength of character, for deeper faith, and if nothing else, hope for a future eternity with Jesus and our heavenly Father. Despite this trial, I have never experienced such true contentment and peace. I am learning to be thankful for what the Lord has provided and to live comfortably within His provision. When you are at risk of losing much, every little thing is not to be taken for granted.
I guess I am rambling a bit now. As you can see my thoughts are everywhere tonight. Let me just close with some prayer requests:
*For rest tonight for Dennis, our children, my parents, grandma, and myself
*For a successful surgery tomorrow; specifically for no ostomy bag
*For minimal pain for Dennis post surgery as well as for a speedy and full recovery
*For our children to be comforted and at peace
*For my grandma to be strengthened and for her medication to work as it should
*For Dennis’ mom as she is traveling until Sunday
Thank you all for your continued prayers. Prayers are powerful and effective and we are humbled and blessed to be on the receiving end of them. I will post tomorrow as soon as I can about how the surgery went.
Trusting in an awesome God,
Carolyn
The day before surgery. To think this was what we were so anxious for 6 months ago. How grateful I am that the Lord laid on our hearts to do the treatment first as I know it will make the surgery easier on Dennis. We had a couple changes to our original plans.
My grandma turned 88 on Saturday and to celebrate being another year older, she ended up in the emergency room with low blood pressure and high blood sugar. No real cause was discovered. She recently changed blood pressure medicine, so it is felt that that may have been the cause. She is doing better - stronger and more steady on her feet. She will begin taking her previous blood pressure medication tomorrow. Because of this, she has been staying at my parent’s house. So to make it easier on my mom, we decided that it might be better for the kids to spend the night there tonight instead of having my mom come here.
Our kids have never spent the night away from home without us. They have never expressed an interest to do so and when they had the chance last summer, they wanted me to stay with them. But I know the Lord was at work in them because when I mentioned it to them a couple days ago, they were both excited about it. That excitement extended into today. I stayed until bedtime, did devotions and stories with them as well as prayed with them. Josh seemed very comfortable. Ellie seemed a bit uncertain. I admit that I shed some tears on the way home. But I prayed that God would be their comfort tonight and I felt at peace. Then I realized I was in the carpool lane on the 91 freeway ALONE! Oops, habit!
The other change isn’t so significant. We got a reminder call from UCI this afternoon. They let us know that we didn’t need to be at the hospital until 6 a.m. instead of 5 a.m. Another hour of sleep! If we can sleep!
Dennis did okay with his pre-op prep this afternoon/evening. He had to mix a very large bottle of Miralax (510 g) with a gallon of Gatorade and drink a glass every 10 minutes within a three hour period. He’s still feeling the effects even at 10:30 tonight. Hoping he’ll be able to go to bed soon.
My emotions have been bubbling over a bit the past couple days. I am overwhelmed with love for my husband. I have some anxiety about surgery, but at the same time confidence in my God. I have concern for my children and grandma, but also trust that God will be their comforter and her healer. I am full of gratitude for my parents who are always so willing to step in and help when needed and for the people far and wide, known and not known who have been praying for us. I am humbled by the things the Lord has been showing me about myself and deeply desire to reflect a change in my heart attitude in these areas.
I do not know why Dennis has cancer; I have never asked why. Disease is just a part of our world due to the fall of man. Some are touched by it and others are not. I have just believed that this was what God has given us to deal with and that in the end we will be better for it. There is always hope no matter how difficult things get. Hope for healing, for strength of character, for deeper faith, and if nothing else, hope for a future eternity with Jesus and our heavenly Father. Despite this trial, I have never experienced such true contentment and peace. I am learning to be thankful for what the Lord has provided and to live comfortably within His provision. When you are at risk of losing much, every little thing is not to be taken for granted.
I guess I am rambling a bit now. As you can see my thoughts are everywhere tonight. Let me just close with some prayer requests:
*For rest tonight for Dennis, our children, my parents, grandma, and myself
*For a successful surgery tomorrow; specifically for no ostomy bag
*For minimal pain for Dennis post surgery as well as for a speedy and full recovery
*For our children to be comforted and at peace
*For my grandma to be strengthened and for her medication to work as it should
*For Dennis’ mom as she is traveling until Sunday
Thank you all for your continued prayers. Prayers are powerful and effective and we are humbled and blessed to be on the receiving end of them. I will post tomorrow as soon as I can about how the surgery went.
Trusting in an awesome God,
Carolyn
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