Calm Down

As churning the milk produces butter,
and as twisting the nose produces blood,
so stirring up anger produces strife.
-Proverbs 30:33

Agitation. Jon Courson comments, "Rather than letting hurt feelings heal, those who continually revisit problems and rekindle the fire of misunderstanding will make the situation infinitely worse, as sure as stirring milk results in butter and wringing the nose brings forth blood."

Let's take an example. Your friend calls. She is livid. Her mother-in-law was domineering and rude on Christmas Day. Your friend is hurt and wants to vent. Okay, what kind of friend are you, really? A carnal friend would not just be sympathetic, she would add fuel tot he fire, adding criticism and reinforcing the woundedness. This does not help, and it is not true friendship, either.

As true godly friends, this very same encounter could take you both to a higher place, the Cross. First, just listen, but pray as you listen. Sometimes, when people share, they see things more clearly. Then ask, "How can I help? How can I encourage you in the Lord?" Then don't hang up until you've said, "Let's pray regarding your mother-in-law and let's pray for her, right now." I've heard it said that you cannot truly pray for someone and hate them at the same time.

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God" (Matthew 5:9).

Live It Out!
Honestly, are you annoyed, irritated, even fuming at someone right now? Anger is a dangerous thing. Here are some tips to avoid the pitfalls and traps.

*Dont' call your friend to vent. Getting her riled up won't help.
*Don't just stuff your feelings either. That can turn to bitterness and resentment and depression.
*Take your anger to God, not just once, but again and again until it's gone.

-The One Year Wisdom for Women Devotional; by Debbi Bryson; December 27; p. 378

 This spoke so clearly to me. I am agitated. A friend said something that caused me to feel angry, offended and then left me feeling deeply sad. For the remainder of the day I had trouble not rekindling the conversation that we had. I kept hearing her words over and over and it made me feel worse and worse. Today, I struggled to take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:5). When my mind wandered to those thoughts, I turned it around to what God's Word says about friends and how we are to love others. I asked the Lord to show me areas where I have not been acting as a friend or loving her or others as I should. There was confession of areas where it was revealed I have sinned and supplication to help me act and respond more like Christ in the future and for help to forgive. I don't want to be angry and bitter.

 And as for the other part of this about venting, that too spoke to me. I have been the venter and the one to whom someone else has vented. There is practical advice here - pray! 

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