Perfect Trust

June 5, 2011

I’ve been posting on Facebook this week, but I know not everyone is on Facebook, so thought I’d give an update of where we are at this point.

Dennis is still in the hospital. It’s been a long, rough week. He continued to experience pain early in the week. Pain medication was allowed, but the doctor said he should try to avoid it, as it would continue to slow down his system. He chose to go without it during the day, but asked for it before bed to help him sleep. He was also having throat pain due to the NG tube, so a throat spray was ordered to help with that. He was also encouraged to walk as much as possible. Early in the week he had a real hard time. He got winded very quickly and was exhausted after just a short walk. But I am proud of my husband, he presses on even when it is difficult.

As the week went on he began to feel like he was healing as he was experiencing less pain when getting out of bed and walking. He was able to go for longer walks more often and was less winded when doing so. I also noticed he was standing taller and began to have some life back in his eyes. He said himself on Thursday, I think, that he was beginning to feel stronger.

On either Thursday afternoon or Friday morning (the days kind of ran together for me), the doctor ordered that the NG tube suction should be changed to intermittent instead of on fully all day. Dennis felt a little queasy at first, but gradually began to feel better as the day went on. This was the hardest day for us – we were both really discouraged. Dennis was tired of the NG tube and the discomfort from it. We felt like we were going nowhere fast; there didn’t seem to be a plan in place.

Saturday morning when the doctor came in, Dennis expressed his frustration. The doctor said it was time to take the next step. He ordered the NG tube to be clamped and for the residual stomach contents to be checked every four hours throughout the day. The nurses were encouraging saying that there was very little in the stomach, which was a sign the intestines were absorbing the contents and there was no blockage.

This morning a different doctor came in. He checked the chart to see what had been going on the day before. He said Dennis didn’t need the NG tube anymore and took it out right then. What great relief to have it out and know that we were finally moving forward. Dennis was allowed to begin a liquid diet this morning. He has been doing well all day with his new food intake – he hasn’t eaten anything in a week! He did begin experiencing some pain at the surgery sight after walking today, but it went away with rest. He has some work to do to re-condition himself, but I know with his positive attitude, he will keep at it.

The kids and I spent the last five days at my parents’ house. We are home now so Ellie can return to school this week. It was hard to come home knowing that Dennis is farther away. My parents live 15 minutes from UCI, so I was able to go over twice a day to check in and walk with Dennis. I needed the emotional support and the fun distractions of Grandpa and Grandma’s house were good for the kids. It was a comfortable place for us to be and I am so blessed and so grateful for my parents and their generous hearts. Also grateful for dear friends I can count on to take care of our house and pets when we are away.

I had a lot of frank talks with the Lord this week. Freely expressing all I was feeling; at times just asking for mercy on behalf of my husband, and on my most discouraging night just crying and allowing the Holy Spirit to intercede for me. I am grateful that I have a heavenly Father I can talk to like that. Dennis shared in his interview for the yearbook that he didn’t know how people could endure these kinds of things without faith in Christ. I agree. Although it has been very hard, I have never doubted that God was present in our circumstances. I have always trusted that God, the Great Physician, was the one caring for my husband. When I have felt weak, I’ve gone to the Lord and sought His strength to get through another day. He has been faithful to do it. Sometimes just as I stepped off the elevator, I felt my countenance lifted and I was able to greet Dennis with a smile and give him the encouragement he needed. I was able to meet the needs of the kids when I was with them with joy and energy. I’ve been exhausted every night, but God has provided rest when it was needed.

Charles Swindoll in “Bedside Blessings” wrote, “When we talk about perfect trust, we’re talking about what gives us roots, character, the stability to handle the hard times. Trusting God doesn’t alter our circumstances. Perfect trust in Him changes us. It doesn’t make life all rosy and beautiful and neat and lovely and financially secure and comfortable. But trust that is rooted in an abiding faith in God makes all that real in us – secure, relaxed, and calm against insuperable odds.”

I continue to hold on to the belief that God works all things for our good and His glory. Beth Moore reminded me in her book “Praying God’s Word Day by Day” that He “can and will work these terrible challenges for good if I will cooperate with (Him) an see myself as one called according to (His) purpose.”

We continue to ask for prayer for Dennis’ complete healing. Please pray that he will continue to tolerate food well; that his system will begin to function normally; that the pain in his side will disappear; and that he will regain his strength. One very specific thing I would like to ask on his behalf is that he would be able to attend the graduation for ACA this Saturday. It would mean a great deal to him to be able to see his students graduate in person.

Thank you for continuing to encourage us with your emails and comments and for lifting us up in prayer and even asking others we don’t even know to pray for us. I know God is faithful to hear them all, as we always seem to have what we need at the very moment we need it.

In Perfect Trust,

Carolyn