Growing in Grace

As churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife. -Proverbs 30:33 Agitation. Jon Courson comments, "Rather than letting hurt feelings heal, those who continually revisit problems and rekindle the fire of misunderstanding will make the situation infinitely worse, as sure as stirring milk results in butter and wringing the nose brings forth blood." Let's take an example. Your friend calls. She is livid. Her mother-in-law was domineering and rude on Christmas Day. Your friend is hurt and wants to vent. Okay, what kind of friend are you, really? A carnal friend would not just be sympathetic, she would add fuel tot he fire, adding criticism and reinforcing the woundedness. This does not help, and it is not true friendship, either. As true godly friends, this very same encounter could take you both to a higher place, the Cross. First, just listen, but pray as you listen. Sometimes, when people shar...

There is a generation that curses its father; And does not bless its mother. There is a generation that is pure in its own eyes, Yet is not washed from its filthiness. There is a generation - oh, how lofty are their eyes! And their eyelids are lifted up. There is a generation whose teeth are like swords, And whose fangs are like knives, To devour the poor from off the earth, And the needy from among men. -Proverbs 30:11-14 This describes a generation that has turned its back on God. At the risk of sounding too negative, I feel I must read 2 Timothy 3:1-7: "Know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And fro...

Whoever flatters his neighbor is spreading a net for his feet. -Proverbs 29:5 We all like receiving a compliment, don't we? A word of encouragement is just that. It encourages us. But flattery as defined by Webster's is "an insincere compliment, excessive or unjustified praise." Put another way, flattery's not truthful, and in the end, it isn't kind. So let's beware of people who lavish flattery and praise. An old folk saying is "Flattery looks like friendship, just like a wolf looks like a dog." Pastor Chuck Smith comments that "flattery is often used to soften us up and then trip us up." If we listen to enough flattery, we might begin to believe it, causing us to think too much of ourselves. But on the other hand, many people never hear a word of praise, not ever. So if you're a Sunday school teacher, try to find one uplifting thing to say to each child before they leave class. If you're a mom, don't just point...

When the godly succeed, everyone is glad. When the wicked take charge, people go into hiding. -Proverbs 28:12 This is a picture of the effect we can have on people around us every day. We can make people happy or sad. No matter where you find yourself - working as a waitress, or a nurse, at Walmart, or in your own home, you can be a blessing. You can be the fragrance of Christ, even in the midst of a worldly atmosphere. In Genesis 39:3-4, we read about Joseph. "When his master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord gave him success. . . Potiphar put him in charge of his household, and he entrusted to his care everything he owned" (NIV). Here we see Potiphar had found someone who worked hard and whom he could trust. Joseph was put in charge of other servants. I'm sure these servants were glad as well, because Joseph, being a man of integrity, was surely a good boss. The wicked, however, have a different effect on those around them. The definition o...

When a country is rebellious, it has many rulers, but a man (or woman) of understanding and knowledge maintains order . -Proverbs 28:2 As we watch world events in the news, it's easy to see how unstable a country becomes when there is rebellion against the loving, righteous ways of God. There are wars and factions because there's no true moral, ethical, or spiritual base. There is chaos. The country and the people of that country get torn apart. It's important to know that this is true not only within a nation, but within our own personal lives and within our homes. We as women have a great position of influence for good or for bad. We are keepers of the home. It's been said, "As goes the woman, so goes the home; as goes the home, so goes the nation." Maybe you've been living with split priorities and a divided heart. Maybe you have been wondering why your world and your home and your inner life is filled with chaos and rebellion. So, may I say to...

Know the state of our flocks, and put your heart into caring for your herds, for riches don't last forever. . . Your sheep will provide the price of a field. And you will have enough goats' milk for yourself, your family, and your servant girls. -Proverbs 27:23-24, 26-27 Down on the farm they say, "Take care of your sheep, your sheep will take care of you." Although most of us not longer live on farms, there are some important principles we could learn from farm life. I spent many summers with my grandparents on the farm. I remember so clearly how diligent my grandfather was. No one had to force him to get up at 5 a.m. to milk the cows and feed them and mend the fences. He noticed if one of his cows was injured. He knew if one was missing. Throughout his life he had few luxuries, but I remember homegrown, home-cooked food was the best in the world. Grandfather loved his garden, his animals, and his work. Life was simple but life was good. Ecclesiaste...

As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the real person. -Proverbs 27:19 Our reflection. We as women look in the mirror to see how we look. We worry about how we look, and we want to change the way we look. But we can look good on the outside and be a mess on the inside. This might be news to some, but a person can have an unattractive exterior and yet have a beautiful heart. Always remember it is the heart that is the true picture of who you really are. That's why the Proverbs tells us, "Above all else, guard your heart, for from it flow the issues of life" (Proverbs 4:23, paraphrased). Max Lucado wrote a storybook called If Only I Had a Green Nose. In the story, Willy Withit arrived in town. He was promoting the latest and greatest look that would definitely make you "with it." The first "with it" fashion was a green nose, but once everyone got the green nose, it was no longer "with it." A red nose was the new "w...

The lazy person claims, "There's a lion on the road! Yes, I'm sure there's a lion out there!" As a door swings back and forth on its hinges, so the lazy person turns over in bed. Lazy people take food in their hand but don't even lift it to their mouth. -Proverbs 26:13-15 Laziness. It's defined as "slow-moving, sluggish, idleness." Procrastination is certainly a part of this. To procrastinate is to delay, to put off till another day or time. I have to tell you I hate it when I do that. Not that we are to be workaholics and consumed with busyness, but we are to be good stewards of the time and opportunities that the Lord has given to us. Photo Credit God does care about how you spend your time, because not only has He numbered your days, but if you are a child of God, your life is not your own . First Corinthians 4:2 tells us, "It is required in stewards that one be found faithful" (NKJV). So what is faithful? Fait...

It is the glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of kings. -Proverbs 25:2 Solomon understood two things that seem to stand in conflict to each other. Photo Credit 1. In many ways God is mysterious. It's been said that if God were so small we could completely understand Him, He would be too small for us to worship Him. So think about it. Do you really understand how gravity works, or why your eye can see, or how a tiny seed can grow into a tree? If we can't grasp the mysteries of the creation, how much more and perfect we could explore it for all of eternity. "Oh the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God!" (Romans 11:33, NKJV). Photo Credit 2. The fact is that even though we cannot understand everything, we need to seek to understand the things that we should understand. Kings and leaders and godly moms who take their responsibilities seriously never get tired of learning how they can grow in their...

Don't envy evil people or desire their company. For their hearts plot violence, and their words always stir up trouble. -Proverbs 24:1-2 Ladies, this is a piece of advice we need to make sure we apply. Wicked people are troublemakers and trouble-talkers. There can be no greater trouble than a woman who is on the warpath. There are many examples in the Bible of people who stirred up trouble with their words. On the journey to the Promised Land the Israelites grumbled many times. In Numbers 11 the rabble began to crave other food besides the manna. They were unthankful, and yet they had never missed a meal. No, they just wanted fish and cucumbers. It's been said, "Contentment is not getting what you want but wanting what you have." Well, they complained, and pretty soon everyone was unhappy. Everyone was complaining. It spread like the plague. Then Moses got discouraged. He wanted to give up. Can you see how complaining can make your husband or your friends...

Listen to your father who begot you, And do not despise your mother when she is old. -Proverbs 23:22 It may be hard to read these words. Maybe you grew up with a father who was harsh, or cold or cruel;  or you've always struggled with your mother and find it difficult to be around her. To you this proverb doesn't sound logical or doable, at least for you in your situation. So what should we do, and how can we apply it? For those who have a chip on your shoulder about your parents, this proverb is the Word of God; therefore it's God who is looking you in the eye and saying "Get over it." When you're short tempered or disdainful of your parents, it's just plain wrong. It causes your own character to be eroded. Regardless of our circumstances, we can choose not to be bitter. We can still love our parents. If we remain, we may see our parents change, and have the blessing of a healthy relationship with them. Photo Credit In Ephesians 4:32 the ...

A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold. -Proverbs 22:1 (NIV) Immanuel Kant once said,"It is not necessary that whilst I live I live happily; but it is necessary that so long as I live I should live honorably." Is this true, or is this some old-fashioned view of values? Many would rather have a shiny, new car than an untarnished reputation. What are some examples of treasured names? -John, the apostle, was called "the disciple whom Jesus loved." -David was called "a man after God's own heart." -Abraham was called "the friend of God." -Abraham Lincoln was called "Honest Abe." Just think of the many people through the ages who, at the very mention of their name, make you think of the good that they stood for or fought for: Mother Teresa, Florence Nightingale, Corrie ten Boom, Elisabeth Elliot, and Billy Graham. But there are so many others whose names are not famous, b...

There is not wisdom, no insight,  no plan that can succeed against the Lord.  The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the Lord. -Proverbs 21:30-31 (NIV) When we read the Bible cover to cover we see that life is full of humanly impossible, insurmountable situations. Even for God's people, life is sometimes very complicated. Over and over again God's people were outnumbered in battle. They were out of food. They faced dilemmas with no answers. Then they turned to God with empty hands and expectant hearts. Over and over again we read of God giving them unusual answers and solutions. In all their circumstances (just like us) they had choices. Should they trust their natural instincts, or should they trust the Lord? Some, like King Saul, repeatedly refused to leave the final decisions in God's hands. Stubbornly they used their own carnal weapons and natural wisdom. Short term, it looked good. Long term, it was a disaster. But others, l...

Despite their desires, the lazy will come to ruin for their hands refuse to work . -Proverbs 21:25 The lazy "refuse to work." It's not that they can't; it's simply that they won't labor. The Hebrew word for labor means "to advance, to deal with, to commit, to prepare, to practice, and to finish." When we procrastinate, we are refusing to get to something we know we should or to finish what we started. Photo Credit How do we break the habit of putting things off? Proverbs 6:6-8 says, "Take a lesson from the ants, you lazybones. Learn from their ways and become wise! Though they have no prince or governor or ruler to make them work, they labor hard all summer, gathering food for the winter." The ant is a picture of diligence. The word diligence means "putting care and effort into what one does." Ants are focused, always moving forward. I love when you put something in their way - they hardly stop. They just go around it an...

Whoever pursues righteousness and unfailing love will find life, righteousness, and honor. -Proverbs 21:21 What motivates you? What gives you the motivation to get out of bed, get dressed, and start your day? Do Photo Credit you have a high and noble passion and purpose for living? If you were to die tomorrow or even next year, would you say, "I made the right choices"? Of all the things that we can desire and pursue in this life, there is nothing like the pursuit of God. Jesus said, "Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all else will be added to you" (Matthew 6:33, paraphrase). Mary Barrett, a worship leader, had a bucket list. Just weeks before she passed away, her husband drove her to Nashville to record just one more worship CD. She often sang the song below. To her, the words were her anthem. Give me one pure and holy passion. Give me one magnificent obsession. Give me one glorious ambition for my life, to know and follow h...

It is better to live alone in the desert than with a (crabby), complaining wife. -Proverbs 21:19 Matthew Henry said, "It is better to have no company than bad company." Let's look at the key factor here that makes a woman a misery. It's complaining. This comes directly from unthankfulness. We can get so busy fixating on what we don't have that we completely forget and completely miss out on the blessings that we do have. Photo Credit Wives, this is a warning. If we make our husbands feel like they can't do anything right, they will eventually stop trying. So what is the cure for a crabby, complaining heart? It's a thankful heart. Colossians 3:15 says, " Let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. . . And always be thankful ." -The One Year Wisdom for Women Devotional;  by Debbi Bryson; August 18; p. 241 I'll never forget the wedding of a friend that took place in Palmdale. The pastor used this proverb in hi...

The Lord is more pleased when we do what is right and just than when we offer him sacrifices. -Proverbs 21:3 Enoch was a man who lived at a time in history when men were dangerously wicked. But contrary to the trend and flow of others, Enoch walked with God."  He was known as a person who pleased God " (Hebrews 11:5). What does it mean to please the Lord? The above proverb gives us an important clue: the Lord is pleased when we do right. When we read about Enoch, we're not told of any big and mighty deeds that he accomplished. He just lived his life, facing whatever came his way. The big and little battles that take place requiring us to make choices and surrender are seen, applauded and empowered by the same God who Created everything. We must choose. Will we choose to walk with God? May we sense His presence, honor His ways, and hear His voice saying, "Well done." " We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and to give you spiritual w...

Love and faithfulness keep a king safe;  through love his throne is made secure . -Proverbs 20:28 Let's apply this proverb to our own realm. No, we are not literal kings - or queens. But we do have areas of influence that the Lord has entrusted to us, and we need to have God's perspective on success and true security. Love and faithfulness are given as the most important factors to make us safe and secure. That is not exactly how things are portrayed in the media. For a person to be safe, it's said he/she needs to look out after self first. We must defend our rights at any cost. But we can look at all the broken homes and lonely lives to see this is a formula for disaster, not success. In the Bible, Queen Esther is the perfect example of doing a risky thing for love's sake. Her predecessor was Queen Vashti. She was beautiful and powerful, but she used her rights to defend her rights. This cost her both her position and her marriage. Later, when Esther beca...

Whoever curses his father or his mother, His lamp will be put out in deep darkness. -Proverbs 20:20 These are sobering words. There are some instructions in the Bible that can be hard to understand. But God's command to honor your parents is not one of them. Why is it then that so many, even Christians, have allowed themselves to completely disregard this? Some people wonder, Do we really need family relationships? It is sometimes a lot easier to love people from afar or short term. Can't good friends fill the family gap? Chuck Swindoll said, "A family is a place where principles are hammered and honed on the anvil of everyday living." Yes, there are challenging times and personalities. That's when we must rely upon the Lord to help us love them through the good and bad. Have you let your parents' flaws get under your skin? Be aware: if you can't let something go, if you can't resist the urge to be rude or unkind, it really reflects back o...

Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones. -Proverbs 16:24 There are no words in the universe that have more power for good to us than the very words of God. The Psalms are a source of encouragment and comfort. The Proverbs give us sound, practical advice. The Gospels give us a fresh picture of Jesus. The Epistles teach us how to live. Revelation gives us a picture of our eternal future. -From  The One Year Wisdom for Women Devotional  by Debi Bryson; June 6; p. 165 Photo Credit Your Words by Third Day "Your words give us life that's never ending. Your words bring us love that never fails. Everything else will fade away, but what will remain are your words."