Be Kind to your Parents

Listen to your father who begot you,
And do not despise your mother when she is old.
-Proverbs 23:22

It may be hard to read these words. Maybe you grew up with a father who was harsh, or cold or cruel;  or you've always struggled with your mother and find it difficult to be around her. To you this proverb doesn't sound logical or doable, at least for you in your situation. So what should we do, and how can we apply it?

For those who have a chip on your shoulder about your parents, this proverb is the Word of God; therefore it's God who is looking you in the eye and saying "Get over it." When you're short tempered or disdainful of your parents, it's just plain wrong. It causes your own character to be eroded.

Regardless of our circumstances, we can choose not to be bitter. We can still love our parents. If we remain, we may see our parents change, and have the blessing of a healthy relationship with them.

Photo Credit
In Ephesians 4:32 the Lord instructs us to "be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you" (NKJV).

One final note to moms: our kids are watching and taking their cues from us. How you treat your mom or your mother-in-law, or even how you treat your ex-mother-in-law, is all a lesson to them. When we treat our family members with honor, it teaches them it's an honor to be honorable.

The One Year Wisdom for Women Devotional; by Debbi Bryson; September 19; p. 274

Proverbs speaks about how we are to treat our parents repeatedly. This tells me that it is important to God that we treat them honorably. I think that in most cases, our parents do the best they can with what they know. And even in cases where they are hurtful, if we consider their past, I think that understanding can help us show grace and offer forgiveness.

I appreciate the reminder here that our children are watching us. If we treat our parents and in-laws with disrespect, they will come to see this as "normal" and we risk them treating us that way when we are older.

More is "caught than taught." We can talk to them of what the Bible says all day long, but if we are not living it out in our own life, then what we say means little.

As our parents age, we will find ourselves needing to care for them. This can be challenging, but the Bible is clear that we are to do it. May God give us wisdom and grace as we do so.


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