Am I Living Fully - or Just Empty?

Ann Voskamp writes early in her book "One Thousand Gifts" about how we are reliving the Garden story. She says, "our fall was, has always been, and always will be, that we aren't satisfied in God and what He gives. We hunger for something more, something other." (p. 15) There was a time in my life where this was true for me. I lived with a feeling of concern for our provision and a sadness that I couldn't have all I wanted. Paul writes in Philippians 4:11-12, "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret to being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." I desired to know Paul's "secret".

In her book, Ann asks the question,  "Will I have lived fully - or just empty?" (p. 29) I know I desire to live fully. She goes on to discuss the idea of "eucharisteo" - thanksgiving. And this is the premise of Ann Voskamp's book - that joy in life is possible if we choose to give thanks for everything. (p. 33) The "secret" that Paul writes about is that of thanksgiving. When we are thankful in every situation - whether empty or full - we will find joy. In naming our gifts we give value to the thing and learn to recognize it as from God. (p. 53)

And so Ann Voskamp began her list of 1,000 gifts and challenges her readers to do the same. While I have been learning to mentally count my blessings, I wrote my first list during Dennis' cancer treatment - some time before actually reading Ann's book. I began my quest for real joy at that time. I have been so excited to come across material that has continued to lead me in the direction of joy in my life. Ann is right, we can live fully right where we are, no matter what our circumstances, if we can learn to name our gifts and give thanks for each one.

My official 1,000 gift list begins here:

1.  Getting out for a few hours for smoothies with a dear friend

2.  Stable blood pressure for my dad; increased activity; almost ready to come home

3.  Snuggles with my daughter after a tough day of discipleship

4.  Tired muscles after a day of serving

5.  Spirit-led worship on a Sunday morning

6.  Obedient, well-mannered children who make running errands easier, not harder

7.  Dad being released from the care center to go home for the first time in almost three weeks.

8.  Having the flexible schedule to be able to pick my dad up and take him home

9.  Josh’s jokes - What is the best season to do math? SUMmer!

10.  Field trips - need I say more?

11.  The creative imagination of my son that seems never ending

12.  When the traffic flows and the line at the gas pump is short so we aren’t too late to Chapel

13.  Cinnamon Crunch Bagels from Panera with a good friend

14.  Josh’s picture of our picnic at the park (including his sister); a representation of “Mother and Baby” by Raphael for Mother’s Day with the note “youre the best mom ever”.

15.  Pizza/Movie night with the family

16. Women’s Breakfast at church - time with good friend, hearty food, teaching of the Word

17. Husband who takes son for a Buddy Day

18. Happy daughter because her best friend is spending the night; home to welcome guests

19. Finally completing a clean up project

20. The flexibility of home schooling that allows me to be available to help my parents when they need me.

21. My small but mighty Grama who gives so generously and sacrificially of her time and resources

22. The peace of God that transcends all understanding

23. God’s protection over my dad

24. Seeing responsibility, obedience, flexibility, kindness, companionship, and no grumbling in my children on a day when I needed to give my attention to my parents

25. Listening to my son’s sharp mind work a math problem