Authentic Friendship

Jonathan, Saul's son, didn't think twice about doing the right thing. He was a man of courage and selfless faith. People loved him and he loved people. It's easy to see why David and Jonathan became inseparable friends.

King Saul became jealous of David and his accomplishments. He wanted to kill David. Jonathan actually defied his father, made a covenant with David and helped him escape his father's hand.

Jonathan and David "hit if off right away." Their souls were knit - they just clicked. Their pledge of friendship was a recognition of being equals, united in heart and bound to look out for each other.

Jonathan faced conflict of loyalty to his father and loyalty to David. He chose to be loyal to David even though it meant allowing David to be the future king instead of him.

When Saul openly declared David must die, Jonathan handled his difficult position with courage and wisdom. He did not betray David and yet he still approached his father with respect.

Jonathan was a friend who had nothing to gain and everything to lose, but he didn't see it that way.

We use the term friend loosely to describe all sorts of relationships. But one defining trait stands out, front and center, in Jonathan and David's friendship: "May the Lord be between you and me" (1 Samuel 20:23,42).

Any friendship we have will not be of lasting value without Christ being at the center of it. The Bible says, "Can two walk together without agreeing on the direction?" (Amos 3:3).

"May the Lord be between you and me" means:

-I will lift you up and be there for you. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10)

-I give you permission to sharpen my rough edges. (Proverbs 27:17)

-I will keep confidence with you. (Proverbs 11:13)

-I will look out for you and seek your best. (Philippians 2:3-4)

-I will keep short accounts with you. (Matthew 18:21-22; Colossians 3:13)

To cultivate this kind of friendship requires availability, accountability and transparency.

It's been said that a true friend is someone who comes in when the whole world has gone out. Jonathan was certainly that kind of friend for David.

Jonathan believed that David would be king, by God's will and with his friend's blessing. Jonathan risked his life to find David in the wilderness. Jonathan helped David find his strength in God. He encouraged his faith.

Authentic friendship is not one-sided. We all have times when we need a listening friend, and times when we need to be the listening friend.

What a friend Jonathan was to David! He was a brave and big-hearted man who would have made an excellent king, but that was not God's plan and he knew it. No question about it, David would not have become the man he was without the strong, godly influence of his friend Jonathan.

Authentic friendship doesn't happen overnight, but all it takes is a spark to get it started. It was C.S. Lewis who said, "Friendship is born the moment one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'"

Friendship can start easily enough, but it won't grow without care and feeding. Jonathan put himself out there to find David and strengthen his hand in God. We can all take that lesson to heart in our relationships.

Think about it: Are my friends stronger - or weaker - in Christ after spending time with me?

"The eyes of the Lord search the whole earth in order to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him." -2 Chronicles 16:9

"God found in David a man who would stand in the gap, a man whose heart was fully committed to Him. Will He find that in you?" -Greg Laurie

-Taken from the study "David Profiles of an Authentic Life"; 2016 Harvest Christian Fellowship

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Our women's ministry is currently going through this Bible study. This week's talk on authentic friendship was so good. Two things stood out to me. First, for a relationship to be of value, Christ must be the center of the relationship; both people must be walking their walk in the same direction - with Christian principles as their guide (Amos 3:3). Without Christ as the center, there is will be disunity, selfishness, and ultimately, conflict. The second thing that made me stop and think was "are my friends stronger in Christ after spending time with me? " Do I encourage and point my friends to Christ as we share our hearts and lives? And I have to ask, "Am I stronger in Christ after spending time with someone?" If I am going to be in close relationship with someone, I need this too. Someone who does the opposite is not someone I should be spending great amounts of time with. There are different types of friendships - some are causal, some are for a season, some are long lasting. These are good guidelines for choosing those that are to be close to us.