Sometimes I Just Wanna Quit
You have given me your shield of victory. Your right hand supports me; your help has made me great. Psalm 18:35 NLT
I love my kids, but I haven't always liked being a mom. . .
I looked around at other moms who seemed to know what they were doing and wondered, What is wrong with me? . . .
I felt like such a failure.
Almost everyday, I would compare how I felt on the inside to other moms who looked like they had it all together on the outside.
I held up my feelings of inadequacy and thoughts of insecurity in contrast to other moms who dressed their kids in matching outfits and adorned themselves with attitudes of grace and wisdom. I wondered how in the world they pulled it off with a smile.
I just wanted to quit. . .
I'd decided to turn in my "pink slip" to my husband when he came home from work that day. It was just too hard, and I was tired of feeling like I would never be "good enough" as a mom.
But what I needed was a new place to start. I didn't really start becoming the mom God created me to be until the day I was ready to quit. That afternoon I fell on my hands and knees before God and choked out the words, "I can't do this."
And in that place of surrender, his peace came over me. His gentleness calmed my nerves. I felt like god bent down over me and spoke to my heart: You are right Renee. In your own strength and through your perspective, you can't do this. But with my promises, my presence, and my power, all things are possible. I will help you become a great mom.
I needed God in my mothering. But my habit of comparing myself to other moms was like a third voice drowning out his and critically mimicking my own. I had to - and still have to - surrender those comparisons to make them powerless and focus instead on the strength he gives me.
Looking back on that day, I'm reminded of Psalm 19:35: "You have given me your shield of victory. Your right hand supports me; your help has made me great." (NLT)
When we acknowledge that on our own we are a mess, God rushes to our side to help us. He bends down to show us that with his grace, wisdom, and guidance, we can become the mom he is calling us to be, the mom our kids need us to be, and the mom we want to be.
That often doesn't have much to do with the mom we just saw at the store.
-"Sometimes I Just Wanna Quit"; Renee Swope; "Always There"; pp. 134-135
I love my kids, but I haven't always liked being a mom. . .
I looked around at other moms who seemed to know what they were doing and wondered, What is wrong with me? . . .
I felt like such a failure.
Almost everyday, I would compare how I felt on the inside to other moms who looked like they had it all together on the outside.
I held up my feelings of inadequacy and thoughts of insecurity in contrast to other moms who dressed their kids in matching outfits and adorned themselves with attitudes of grace and wisdom. I wondered how in the world they pulled it off with a smile.
I just wanted to quit. . .
I'd decided to turn in my "pink slip" to my husband when he came home from work that day. It was just too hard, and I was tired of feeling like I would never be "good enough" as a mom.
But what I needed was a new place to start. I didn't really start becoming the mom God created me to be until the day I was ready to quit. That afternoon I fell on my hands and knees before God and choked out the words, "I can't do this."
And in that place of surrender, his peace came over me. His gentleness calmed my nerves. I felt like god bent down over me and spoke to my heart: You are right Renee. In your own strength and through your perspective, you can't do this. But with my promises, my presence, and my power, all things are possible. I will help you become a great mom.
I needed God in my mothering. But my habit of comparing myself to other moms was like a third voice drowning out his and critically mimicking my own. I had to - and still have to - surrender those comparisons to make them powerless and focus instead on the strength he gives me.
Looking back on that day, I'm reminded of Psalm 19:35: "You have given me your shield of victory. Your right hand supports me; your help has made me great." (NLT)
When we acknowledge that on our own we are a mess, God rushes to our side to help us. He bends down to show us that with his grace, wisdom, and guidance, we can become the mom he is calling us to be, the mom our kids need us to be, and the mom we want to be.
That often doesn't have much to do with the mom we just saw at the store.
-"Sometimes I Just Wanna Quit"; Renee Swope; "Always There"; pp. 134-135
Comments
Post a Comment