Counting my Blessings

An old one from December 2010. . . Part of our cancer journey story. . . 

The holidays have taken on a new light for me this year. With Dennis being diagnosed with cancer, my perspective has been greatly changed. Some days it's easy to fall prey to discouragement over our circumstances. I've been learning to counter those times with a "gratitude adjustment." In spite of the difficult times, there are in fact many blessings in my life. As they have been rolling around in my head this week, I decided to write them down to look back on.

My husband is sick; but I am so very grateful to have a husband to share my life with. He is my best friend; the one I want to share my love, life, heart, and dreams with. I am fortunate to be married to a man who follows after God with his whole heart. Dennis has been the spiritual leader of our relationship from the beginning. Not that he is perfect; but even when he has made mistakes, he has been humble enough to allow the Holy Spirit to convict him and bring him back in line with God's Word. It is a blessing to have a husband who has always made being a presence in our home a priority. He has chosen to sacrifice work and ministry opportunities as well as hobbies in order to be with us. Having a husband who is hands on and involved in the daily life of our children is something I do not take for granted.

Although Dennis is currently on disability (which we certainly count as a blessing), it is a gift that Dennis has a job and that his job happens to be at Arrowhead Christian Academy. At ACA he is able to freely teach about the Bible and be an incredible influence on his students. The staff, parents and students have been a tremendous blessing to us during this time. We were recently discussing God's will and feel that this job was a definite "open door" from the Lord.

Having a job also means having health insurance. It is mind boggling how expensive medical procedures are. We are still responsible for a portion of these expenses, and that is where we have learned to trust God to supply our needs which He has in amazing ways. It is also reassuring to have found a doctor who is knowledgeable, cautious, and takes the time to listen and follow up with us. He is the one who referred Dennis for the colonoscopy initially, so I have to be grateful for him.

And while Dennis' job is a blessing, I am grateful that I have had the privilege to be home full-time. I have been fully available to Dennis to take him to his treatments, schedule appointments and care for his needs. I think it would have been a bigger strain on him to have had to rely on others to transport him everyday.

The Bible teaches that having children is a blessing from the Lord. My first blessing came in 1987 with the birth of my first daughter. Although I am not the mother that has raised her, being the one to give her life has been an honor. While the details of her adoption are for another time, it was one of those events in my life that had a great impact. The details of how I met her parents was certainly a "God thing." She has been raised in a Godly home, chosen to follow after and serve the Lord, and was given many opportunities to discover and practice her gifts and talents. I count it a blessing to have been able to remain in contact with her and her family all these years. She is a beautiful young woman with a talent for photography, a great deal of creativity and personality, and has a lovely smile. Of great importance to me as well is that her adoption led me to understand my own acceptance into God's family as a daughter of the King.

While I wasn't the one to raise my first daughter, I have been given the privilege to raise Eliana and Joshua. They have brought such depth to my life, teaching me to love more deeply than I ever thought possible. It is challenging at times, but there are so many moments of blessing on a daily basis. They are both healthy, smart, and creative. It is a real honor to be able to partner with the Lord (and Dennis) to raise them.

Our parents are also wonderful blessings to me. I am so glad that we live close enough to see one another regularly. The thing that characterizes all of the "parents" in our lives is generosity. They are all willing to give of themselves and their resources out of love. My mom and I have always had a pretty good relationship, but it has grown deeper since I've become an adult and a mother. She is by far the sweetest person I know and I love being with her. Since my dad's retirement, I've had the opportunity to spend more time with him. I've come to know him more deeply and we have good conversations. My mother-in-law is a gem. She is full of talent in the kitchen and with all things crafty; a great resource. I very much enjoy spending time with her. I was always close to my grandparents. My dad's parents are gone now, and I admit I miss them, but there are many memories that are a blessing to hold on to until we are together again in heaven. My mom's mom is a real kick. I've always enjoyed talking with her and drawing strength from her independent spirit.

Our church is another great blessing in my life. We have a pastor who loves his church very deeply. He teaches the TRUTH of the Word of God thoroughly, with deep conviction and with the power of the Holy Spirit. He is not afraid to share his heart with his congregation. It is through our church that I have experienced tremendous growth spiritually. It is also the place where I have met many dear friends. The ladies in my fellowship have been a huge blessing to me in recent weeks by serving our family with love and sacrifice.

I have to say that although they were hard at the time, I am grateful for the difficult things I've experienced in my past and for the lessons that I've been able to learn from them. I can look back and see how God used those things in my life to prepare me for where I am now in the present. And I know that what we are going through now will in turn prepare us for other things that are to occur in the future.

Of course there are those "things" that we take for granted so often: having a home, food in the pantry & fridge, clothes, cars, computers, a TV. None of these things are the best, most expensive, most fashionable, or newest, but we must count it a blessing to even have them at all when so many have little or none of these things.

I've come to believe that contentment in life is all about perspective. Whether we are experiencing a season of prosperity or one of meagerness, we still have things to be grateful for; there are still blessings there in front of us. These are just some of mine. Really, they only scratch the surface. I really just wanted to have a starting place for those times when life seems overwhelming. I need to continue to train myself to be a "glass if half full" kind of gal! Here's to a more positive 2011!




This post was written long before I read Ann Voskamp's "One Thousand Gifts", but I was on the right track to starting a list!

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