Setting our Husbands up for SUCCESS

Saturday afternoon of our retreat we had the opportunity to attend two workshops. Even though we had just attended the couple's conference the weekend before, I decided to go to the workshop on marriage. I was pleased to find out that a long-time friend, Laura, was leading it. I looked forward to being reminded specifically as a wife how I could do a better job in my role.

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Laura began by talking about how the kind of love we are to show is agape love - sacrificial love; which is further defined as thoughtful actions done without reward. A synonym for love could be service. Jesus demonstrated this for us in his life, death and resurrection. Wives were designed to be help mates for our husbands. We are the sous chef to their role as executive chef in the marriage relationship.

So in order to set our husbands up for success we are to:

Stay spirit filled: We do this by prayer and the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

Unity: This comes from being humble, gentle, patient and bearing with one another (Ephesians 4:1-3). We are to offer forgiveness. We can serve together in ministry or by being of one accord, free our husbands up to serve while we hold down the fort at home.

Communication: Our timing, tone and topic are important. In order to communicate effectively we need to remember to speak with grace (Colossians 4:6)

Cultivate intimacy: This can be done by writing notes to our husbands, flirting, offering compliments and expressing thanks.

Enjoy each other: Emerson Eggerichs talked in his book Love and Respect about how men prefer shoulder-to-shoulder fellowship; they just want you present near them. This could mean watching a game on TV with them, working alongside them in the yard or sitting nearby as they work on the car or some other project. Take time to be alone together whether it's going on a walk around the block, going for a cup of coffee, out to a meal or if you can, getting away overnight or for a weekend. It's important to make time to laugh together.

Spend time in God's Word: It's important for you to have your own personal devotions. You can share with one another what you are gleaning from your time in the Word. And you should spend time in the Word together by having devotions together as a couple.

Spend time in prayer: Instead of nagging our husbands, we should pray for them. James 5:16 reminds us that we are to pray for one another; that the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. Laura recommended the book When Couples Pray by Sheri Fuller.

These were good reminders for me as a wife. I pray I will put them into practice regularly.

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