This Isn't What We Expected

May 30, 2011

Dennis is in the hospital again. As we were sitting together holding hands in the ER last night, he said the words I was thinking, “This wasn’t what we expected.” That seems to be the theme of the last nine months for us. Last night we were both accepting that this was what the Lord put before us to handle. As Charles Swindoll wrote, “when we know Who, we can stop asking “Why?” By late morning, however, that positive attitude was beginning to waver and I found myself crying out for mercy on behalf of my husband and wondering how much he was going to be expected to handle. It feels like he has endured more than any one person should be asked to bear. But then I thought about Job. And like Job, in spite of all the pain and suffering and setbacks, we will not loose our faith in God and we will find ways to “praise Him in this storm.”

Music ministers to me. As I was driving back and forth to UCI today, songs with very timely lyrics were on the radio: “Our God is Greater” by Chris Tomlin, “Bring the Rain” by Mercy Me, “Praise You in this Storm” by Casting Crowns “Your Love Never Fails” by Jesus Culture and several others that were new to be but all had to do with relying on the Lord in difficult times and how He is able to supply our needs. If anyone wonders why I only listen to Christian music, this is why. Like Scripture, the lyrics to songs often come to mind in times of trial. It encourages my spirit, keeps my eyes on the Lord, and gives me hope to keep on. I continue to believe that God makes all things work together for our good.

But, this update is backwards. Let me explain what happened to Dennis over the weekend. He was discharged from the hospital on Friday. He was still hurting, but pain medication seemed to help him tolerate it okay. On Saturday he was tired, but still hanging in there. By Sunday afternoon, however, he was beginning to experience increased pain and a distended abdomen. By evening he was feeling nauseous. I called and spoke to the surgical on-call doctor. We decided to go the ER.

It was a bit crowded, but thankfully we were able to get a bed fairly quickly. Dennis was given anti-nausea medication as well as medication for the pain. He had a x-ray taken of his abdomen. It was found he had a blockage. From what we were told it was caused by a series of things. Dennis’ body just wasn’t working normally yet. This combined with the constipation effects of the pain medication as well as the amount and type of food he had been eating since coming home led to the blockage.

The remedy for this was to put a tube down to his stomach to extract what was in there. The tube was put through his nose and down his throat. Yes, it was an unpleasant procedure. But within a short time of being hooked up, he began to feel less pressure in his abdomen and was much more comfortable again. We were told he would be admitted to the hospital for 2-3 days to monitor him. It seemed like an easy solution. But it wasn’t what we expected.

I left the hospital about 4:30 a.m. and went back around 9:30 a.m. Dennis was having a hard time. The tube was bothering his throat and he was beginning to experience pain in his abdomen again. This only worsened as the day went on. By the time I went back to see him at 2:30, he was miserable again. There were no orders for pain medication and the nurse had not heard back from the doctor on call. She did say she would try to get an okay for a spray for his throat to ease the pain. It was discouraging to say the least and all I could do as I left was pray for mercy.

I know that God is in the midst of all this. It’s just a little hard to see Him right now. The few hours that Dennis was pain free last night were such a blessing. I could see the relief all over his face. Today he was back to a face with furrowed brows, eyes closed and misery written all over it.

I chuckled to myself that the ER doctor talked about how this was like a flat tire on a road trip. I have used similar analogies before. Lately it seems like we break down and then have to be towed back for repairs before we can continue on. This seems like a major overhaul this time.

Would you please pray with me for Dennis’ comfort from pain; recovery from the surgery and this blockage; for the right doctors to come his way and for them to have God’s wisdom in how to treat him; for me to have wisdom in how best to be his advocate; for our kids to remain relaxed and flexible; for me to get some needed rest tonight in order to be refreshed for tomorrow’s needs.

“Our God is healer, awesome in power, our God, our God.”

Carolyn