Lessons From the Movie "Brave"

It's very common in our family to spend time contemplating and discussing the message of movies we watch. We had gone to see the movie "Brave" as a family when it was in the theaters. My girl received it as a Christmas gift and we watched it again today.

Shortly after the movie began the first time, I leaned over to Dennis and said I thought this was a movie about our daughter and me. At the time we were facing similar struggles as Merida and her mother in the movie - mom trying to mold her daughter into what she thought she should be, not taking the time to really listen to and hear the heart of her daughter, and being too busy for purposeful interaction and a daughter who felt she wasn't understood, didn't like being corrected, was having trouble accepting responsibility for her actions, and felt her brother was getting away with everything.

Obviously, both learned to consider the other person's point of view. Merida learned to accept responsibility for her actions. Their relationship was not just restored, but greatly improved. These answers are found in Scripture. Parents are admonished to not exasperate their children (Ephesians 6:4). I see this as encouragement to take the time to study our children - to learn about their strengths, weaknesses, gifts and talents and to help them develop these areas; not try to push them into things we want them to do. We are not to live vicariously through our children.

Children are to honor their parents and obey them (Ephesians 6:1) which means respectfully disagreeing and communicating. But I think that parents need to model this behavior by also being respectful of their children; a gentle answer can keep a situation from becoming heated (Psalm 15:1). Sometimes there are things that our children must do because we say; but even that can be communicated with love and respect. The adage to treat others the way you want to be treated applies in the parent/child relationship as well. Children are gifts given to us by the Lord. We are to teach and train them. The best way is by example.

The lesson of learning to consider others as more important than yourself is found in Philippians 2:5. It's too easy to become self-absorbed and focus only on your own life, plans and desires at the expense of what others may need or want. Our children have been entrusted to us for a very short season. During this time we very likely may need to set aside our own personal dreams until our children are more independent or even out on their own.

The other lesson in this movie was connected to the legend of Mourdu. The oldest brother was endowed with strength while the others were filled with the character traits of compassion, justice and wisdom. Had they worked together, they could have ruled a very strong kingdom. But the oldest brother allowed pride to rule him. He felt he was entitled to rule the kingdom for himself. As a result he asked the witch for a spell that he thought would help him win the war with his brothers and allow him to rule the kingdom by himself. But because he refused to be humble and mend the broken bond with his brothers, he lost everything and lived as a hunted bear.

Pride is a dangerous thing (Proverbs 16:18). Living for self will never be fully satisfying. There will always be disappointments and a desire for more to be happy. When we use our gifts and talents to serve others and to work with others, we will find that harmony brings peace and joy. It was only when Merida learned to be humble by accepting responsibility for turning her mother into a bear that things were restored.

I walked away from this movie (again) desiring to be more patient with my girl; to let her speak so she feels heard. To model a calm spirit by responding to her in love with soft, but firm words (when necessary). We will continue to work on accepting responsibility for our actions by saying what we are sorry for when a wrong has been done. I am doing much better at spending purposeful time with both kids, (even when I'd rather be doing my own thing). I will praise my daughter when she serves others without being asked and continue to pray for her to have a humble spirit.

Our main goal for our kids is to help them reach their full potential in Christ. We will continue to seek God's wisdom in how to train them in the way He wants them to go (Proverbs 22:6). May God be glorified in our efforts.

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