Being One with the Father

This was a wake up call for us. We had been going on with life as if everything was "normal". But I was beginning to see fatigue seeping into Dennis. He would come home each day more and more exhausted. We were still unsure of the direction to take with treatment. And then when we realized Dennis needed to stop working, there was initial concern about finances. The time in the ER was actually a good time for us. We had a lot of time to talk about things and were able to get our focus where it needed to be - on Dennis and his health. I knew deep down that God would sustain and provide for us, but I needed the encouragement I received that week to strengthen my anchor with the Lord. As I look back at our prayer requests at this time, I can honestly say that God answered each one far beyond what we ever expected. Prayer is powerful - God does hear the cries of His people. . .

October 12, 2010


Just thought I’d send an update to explain about the ER and what’s been happening since. Dennis began having severe abdominal pain around 10 o’clock Sunday morning. By 2 o’clock we decided he needed to go to the ER as the pain was not easing. My friend was able to come over to stay with the kids, which was a huge blessing.


At the ER we were grateful to be put into a room instead of behind a curtain or out in the walk way like so many others were. We were also right next to a bathroom, which Dennis needed close by. Lab work was done and the doctor decided to do another CT scan. None of these tests showed anything specific that could be causing the pain. Based on what he had eaten the previous couple of days, it was decided that perhaps he had really bad constipation.

The ER doctor called to confer with Dennis’ GI doctor. The recommendation was to take a stool softener daily, use Tylenol for pain, and stick to a high fiber diet – in other words, no more pizza and wings! Just in case he did have an infection of some kind, the doctor ordered two IV antibiotics. They also sent him home with two prescriptions for oral antibiotics. Around 5 o’clock I called my parents and they came out to take over the kids. Since we didn’t end up leaving the hospital until after midnight, this was a huge weight off our shoulders.

Dennis stayed home yesterday and today. He still has tenderness, but the sharp pain is gone. He was blessed with a full night’s sleep last night. This was a sign to us that Dennis needs to stop working now. Monday will be his last day with ACA and Tuesday will begin his first day of disability. After one week he will be eligible for state disability. He also has supplemental insurance through work. This will take affect after four weeks.
He met with the GI doctor to follow up from Sunday’s hospital visit. He suggested that treatment begin as soon as possible. Tomorrow we have an appointment with the surgeon. We had decided we wanted to go ahead with surgery first, but after receiving some additional information from our primary doctor, talking with others and one another, as well as much prayer, we decided to do radiation and chemotherapy first. Instead of the standard of care treatment of five weeks of combined radiation and chemotherapy and then surgery, we have decided to participate in a study being done by the surgeon. It will start with the standard of care treatment, but will continue with extra chemotherapy before surgery. This means Dennis will likely not have surgery until the spring. But the idea is that the tumor will stop growing, perhaps shrink some and that recovery will be easier.

The reality that Dennis has cancer has become very real. As we begin the next phase, we would ask for prayer for the following:
*That the tumor would respond to the treatment and shrink
*That Dennis would have minimal side effects from the radiation and chemo
*That the kids will adjust to dad not being available for events and activities
*That our financial needs will be met
*That I would have patience and discernment with my time

There have been many great writings that have come our way in the past couple of weeks. One thing I think they all have in common is where our focus needs to be. It has been a habit in our lives in the joyful as well as the sorrowful and difficult times to turn to the Lord in praise, for comfort and for strength. This thought made me think of Mercy Me’s song “Bring the Rain”.

The song begins: “I can count a million times/ People asking me how I/ Can praise You with all that I’ve gone through/ The question just amazes me/ Can circumstances possibly/ Change who I forever am in You/ Maybe since my life was changed/ Long before those rainy days/ It’s never really crossed my mind/ To turn my back on you oh Lord/ My only shelter from the storm/ But instead I draw closer through these times”
Where else can we go for all we need?

A couple of weeks ago we read a devotion by Oswald Chambers from “My Utmost for His Highest” based on John 17. The focus was on being one with the Father. He wrote: “God is not concerned about our plans; He doesn’t ask, ‘Do you wan to go through this loss of a loved one, this difficulty, or this defeat?’ No, He allows these things for His own purpose. The things we are going through are either making us sweeter, better and nobler men and women, or they are making us more critical and fault-finding, and insistent on our own way. The things that happen either make us evil, or they make us more saintly, depending entirely on our relationship with God and its level of intimacy. If we will pray, regarding our own lives, ‘Your will be done’ (Matthew 26:42), then we will be encouraged and comforted by John 17, knowing that our Father is working according to His own wisdom, accomplishing what is best. When we understand God’s purpose, we will not become small-minded and cynical. Jesus prayed nothing less for us than absolute oneness with Himself, just as He was one with the Father. Some of us are far from this oneness; yet God will not leave us alone until we are one with Him – because Jesus prayed ‘. . . that they all may be one. . .’”

Following this was my lesson in Daniel chapter 4 in which King Nebuchadnezzar had his second dream about the tree. Beth Moore talked about how the king didn’t fully understand God’s identity. He was not “one” with God as Daniel was. She wrote, “Every human being finds his or her identity in something or someone. As believers in Jesus Christ, our entire identity is wrapped up in our God.”

We both desire to be one with the Father; to be made sweeter, better and nobler. We desire to be identified with Christ.

There was a lot of time to read while in the ER, and I finished a small book called “The Beauty of Christ Through Brokenness” by K.P. Yohannan. As he was writing about hindrances to the work of brokenness in our lives, K.P. wrote: “All things work together for our good so we may become like Jesus (Romans 8:28). When we truly believe this we can rest, knowing that God is the One orchestrating the events of our lives. It is His plan, and we learn to bend our neck and receive His yoke. This causes us to become less frustrated with circumstances and people and everything else. When we look up and recognize that He is behind it all, His grace and peace enter our lives.”

As the road gets harder to travel, we will continue to look for these “rest stops” that remind us that God is in control, “orchestrating the events of our lives”; that He has a plan and purpose; that He will use this to make us into what He wants us to be; and that we are to praise Him in all circumstances because He works for our good.

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